Warm days

So happy together!

This girl wanted this pufferfish so much. Now I have to figure out how to make a stuffed version.

Loved these plants! Anyone know what they are?

Sunset on the way to Cincinnati. 

Super cute penguins at the zoo.

Little boy standing over huge fish.

Worn out after lots of walking.

I love Azaleas little giraffe headband.

Woodland creature

Hey there! Check out this little felted creature I made! I used some really lovely hand dyed wool my friend Kate Richbourg gave to me. I sculpted her face from polymer clay, then cast it and made resin copies to paint. The process is pretty fun. I haven't decided what to do  next with her, maybe add hooves, or beading. 

Working with fiber has taken my full attention lately. I just can't get enough! I've sewn several garments, woven a couple more teeny linen twine baskets and collected alpaca wool to make doll wigs. I think I'm going to do some embroidery now.

Enchanted Adornments Giveaway!

Hey there. Our good friends over at Fusion Beads is having a cool sweepstakes where you can win 400 bucks worth of mixed media supplies, plus a signed copy of my book! How nice is that? Here's the link: http://ow.ly/lAMYY

Stamp carving process

Over the years I've been asked how I make the stamps or molds I use for my coin pendants and thought it might be nice to see my process. This is the overview version, since I'm pretty absorbed in making things for the Bead and Button Show, but it should give a good idea. 

The first thing I always start with is sketches. Sometimes I'll draw an idea over and over for years before it will look just right and I'm ready to carve it. Other times I will know exactly how I want the piece to look and all I will draw is a quick thumbnail.

 The next step is to form a lump of clay (any clay that hardens will do - in this picture I am using polymer) into the shape of the stamp. The dark purple disc is a glass sun catcher, but I often use small glazed tiles as surfaces to work on. Then I draw the design onto the clay backwards. I can do this now without tracing my design with pencil and pressing the clay onto the paper to get a reverse image, since I've done so many.

Then, I slowly begin scraping away the design. This part is tricky. The rule is, the deeper the marks, the more they will stick out in the design, so really faint, shallow marks will look far away. The first designs I made were flowers, almost like lace and they translated well in this format. The hardest things to make are faces. I avoid these as much as possible, but I like to carve mermaids, so I know there will be a lot of filling in and recarving. 

When I've finished carving, I harden the clay (curing polymer in the oven, firing stoneware in the kiln or air drying - depending on the clay) and then I get to the fun part - testing the design! I use water as a resist for polymer and olive oil for other clays, then press in clay to see my work. Sometimes it's a lovely surprise, other times, its a deep sigh, knowing it will have to be made over, with modifications. This piece is good and I'm pleased with the depth and little details. From this point, production begins and either soft wax or metal clay can be used to press into the stamp. I use both materials, depending on what metal I want to end up with. I used to use just metal clays, until the price of silver clay tripled, making it too expensive for production. 

This type of mold wears out eventually, so one can only pull a finite amount of copies. I have mixed feelings about this aspect. It's sort of precious, only getting so many copies, but since the mold is the master, its also a little distressing. I'm very much like a dragon and like to have lots of piece, in case I might run out. 

Out West

When I return from being away for awhile, I feel like home looks a little different. I realize it is my perspective that has altered - but its those minute differences that make going away so interesting. I spent last week out west, enjoying San Francisco and Montara. It was wonderful spending time with good friends, eating all kinds of delicious food and looking at lots of beautiful art. Really, its such lovely experiences that make life feel so amazing.

Here's a new wax master that's almost finished. It needs to be cleaned up, so the details are tight.

Small victories

The processes of artists is often portrayed as a blissful or tempestuous state, steeped in emotion, the product of deep yearning. While this might be true of say, Andrew Wyeth or Jackson Pollock, it hardly bears resemblance to the way my work is made. I draw or paint, making things I'm not sure have any meaning, let alone the truths Andrew Wyeth says artists should unearth. I look, draw, observe some more, daydream about whatever it is I'm sketching and wonder all the while if I can make what I'm drawing or if the drawing itself is worthwhile.

The real work of an artist is in that space where the first tentative attempts are made and the later ones that fall short of perfect. This space of time is so frustrating, so blood boilingly annoying. How I hate to return to the drawing board - to figure out a hinge, to get a tiny piece to cast or to fix resin that refuses to set up. I have a pile of projects in various states of 'almost there', so close, but for a few hours (days, weeks, months) of work.

The moment when a piece comes together, after so many hours hunched over, after making it over several times, is actually pretty damned blissful. Those few moments of utter happiness when a piece is examined and found without flaw...it's a bone deep satisfaction.

So now I'm sitting in front of a pile of things that need more work, or that have to be sculpted from scratch (again). Sometimes it's the thought of painting the last dot in the eye, or seeing a flawless resin piece pop out of a mold that keeps me in the studio.
That desire to create something beautiful, something that will transmit an idea perfectly, is a bewitching force. The thought of small victories, overcoming a difficult material or finding the perfect color is enough for me. Better get some coffee on.

advice

The words of encouragement and advice that I received last week was uplifting and in some cases, downright funny. My mom says (with a heavy Filipino accent) 'if you stop wearing the dead colors, you might look alive! You have a long time to lay down in the ground. Why start now?!'. A friend suggested that a good, stiff drink would fix me right up. Good dark chocolate is supposed to work. Along with aromatherapy, massage and chicken soup. Azalea couldn't understand the concept of 'feeling blue' and wondered aloud why I just didn't try to feel pink or purple instead.

I realized she was right. Why indeed? So, I put on a pink shirt and red shoes. I made a drink with a shot of whipped cream vodka, Godiva liqueur, salted caramel syrup and soda water. I ate a good part of a bag of Bliss chocolates. Made a batch of blood orange fruit de pâté and chicken soup. I turned in a groupon spa package and allowed myself to get pampered.

Then, I busted out the tools and got to work. I ignored the draggy feeling, the dreaded sluggishness and plowed on. I made a little face to go with a wool felt creature I needle felted. I made some tiny waxes for the upcoming miniature show. I felt better. Not great, but progress nonetheless.

The life of a self employed artist sounds easy - no meetings, no set hours, no boss and one chooses what to do with the day. It IS nice, but there is a lot of work involved, a lot anxiety and sometimes frustration. Sometimes all those little things add up and it's hard to feel in control. It's good to step back, look at the situation and come at it from a different angle. Like a piece of stone that has a vein of really hard rock running through and all the sharpest tools just can't get through that area. Rather than continue hammering on the spot, flip it and go at it from the side, or back.

I'm treating this part of my life like a ruby or sapphire, hard and beautiful, but easy to carve with patience and a focused vision.

Have you ever had a space of time that seemed fraught with every aggravation and disappointment you could think of, plus more that you didn't? Well, the last couple of months have seemed like the same day happening over and over, overcast and dull, with lots of things going wrong. The equipment breaking, the cars falling apart, pieces ruined, people acting like entitled children AND my beloved little bird Mochi dying.....it's enough to make a person fall down under the weight of it.

I've had to read letters listing how I should run our business, how to do this and that, the result leaving me sad and tired. I know everyone is entitled to their opinion, but why do people think its their right to criticize with abandon, yet gawk at the rudeness if the same questions are asked of them? I realize there is always room for improvement, but there are boundaries. Surprisingly, I am not a stone and am hurt by hard words.

I could list a hundred other things that have pressed down on me, deflating my spirit, but in the end, its all just the same inconsequential stuff that happens to everyone. I think it would be easy to stop trying, afraid to do anything for fear of failure or criticism and admittedly, I haven't felt like doing much more than the necessary. Maybe things will be better tomorrow.

Kitty fish

Here's a prototype of a paper doll I'm working on. It's my cat Frick, the biggest, most beautiful cat ever. This is a quick little drawing, with a wash of watercolor, so i can test the posability. The final painting will be in egg tempera, so I can get all noodly, painting each scale and paw pad. I think this kit needs two, maybe three on a print. A kitten would be dang cute.