Sunday, September 30, 2007

Hawaii






Hi! We've been back since Tuesday and have worked ourselves into bent, hallowed eyed zombies. So today, we took a break, actually I couldn't get up. Hawaii was amazing, the show was outstanding, friends showed up and we ate loads of sushi. I'm happy in Hawaii. Maybe its my islander heritage (mama's filipino) but I'm one content girl when I'm standing at the waters edge, soaking up all the blue of the sea, the wind in my face carrying the scent of plumerias, coconuts and wild ginger.
Not to say I'm not happy now, because I am. I can remember a time when I was sad and lonesome, so much so that a nice lady sitting next to me at wedding reception told me "Your misery will end and you will be happy." Now that was about six years ago, it took another year before her prediction came true. I finally got the courage to actually look at my life for what it was and stop pretending all was great. That was hard. I was used to being sad, I thought it was my disposition to be eternally depressed. My family has carried sadness like a veil ever since my older brother disappeared. We didn't talk about it, we just lived our lives, secretive and crisp to one another, not really knowing or caring what was going on each others lives. That changed when Azalea was born, our family came together, we let our sadness go. So now I'm happier than I've ever been, working with my family, doing what I love. Sometimes a part of me can't believe my good fortune and wonders when it will end, but then I remember that I'm not that same girl, I'm a mama and a wife and I look out for others, not just myself.
One day I will build a retreat, where all my buddies and favorite people can come and stay with me. I think it will be in Hawaii, because I love kona coffee, the smell of coconuts and sea turtles. The atmosphere lends itself to creativity (I painted so much during the show, which would usually be hard to concentrate with people watching) and to relaxing while walking along the shore collecting treasures. Well, the shows in 11 days and I have much to do!

8 comments:

Melissa said...

Hi Cynthia,

I just wanted to let you know how much I loved this entry and in particular your statement about being a mama and a wife. I feel the same way. It's amazing how much life changes and how wonderful those changes can be. My husband and I were married in Hawaii on the Big Island. Your description made me long to be back there.

Best wishes,
Melissa Lee

Janet said...

You and hubby make such a handsome couple Cynthia. And Happiness suits you and Im so Happy for you that youve found it! Bless you xxx

Christina said...

This was a really great post and your photos are wonderful! I've never been to Hawaii, but hope to go someday.

*melanie* earthenwood studio said...

Thank you for a touching post. You deserve all the happiness you have and more!

Jean said...

I am very happy for you! I believe.

xox! jean!

Eva said...

You two are beautiful (as is Azalea)! We love and miss you, and we're so glad you're happy.

Andrew Thornton said...

It's so weird thinking about how different all of our lives were just a few years ago. We've all changed so much and I think for the better. I don't know if I'll ever really be able to truly let go of losing Dwayne. It's just something that's burnt into the threads of my past. As much as I pretend not to care, I still think about him and dream about him. The other night I had a dream that we found him. That he had come back to us. I would be lying if I said it was a happy dream. It was bittersweet and I was left with snatches of a face that I no longer recognized.

idolatrieartist said...

You really... warm my heart. I have confidence in your wishes and dreams. I know you will find a way to create your visions.

(I found a photo of you I took from ArtFest in 2002- I think? Do you remember going? I shall post it shortly...)

Enjoy your day...
xoxoxox