Hi! We've been back since Tuesday and have worked ourselves into bent, hallowed eyed zombies. So today, we took a break, actually I couldn't get up. Hawaii was amazing, the show was outstanding, friends showed up and we ate loads of sushi. I'm happy in Hawaii. Maybe its my islander heritage (mama's filipino) but I'm one content girl when I'm standing at the waters edge, soaking up all the blue of the sea, the wind in my face carrying the scent of plumerias, coconuts and wild ginger.
Not to say I'm not happy now, because I am. I can remember a time when I was sad and lonesome, so much so that a nice lady sitting next to me at wedding reception told me "Your misery will end and you will be happy." Now that was about six years ago, it took another year before her prediction came true. I finally got the courage to actually look at my life for what it was and stop pretending all was great. That was hard. I was used to being sad, I thought it was my disposition to be eternally depressed. My family has carried sadness like a veil ever since my older brother disappeared. We didn't talk about it, we just lived our lives, secretive and crisp to one another, not really knowing or caring what was going on each others lives. That changed when Azalea was born, our family came together, we let our sadness go. So now I'm happier than I've ever been, working with my family, doing what I love. Sometimes a part of me can't believe my good fortune and wonders when it will end, but then I remember that I'm not that same girl, I'm a mama and a wife and I look out for others, not just myself.
One day I will build a retreat, where all my buddies and favorite people can come and stay with me. I think it will be in Hawaii, because I love kona coffee, the smell of coconuts and sea turtles. The atmosphere lends itself to creativity (I painted so much during the show, which would usually be hard to concentrate with people watching) and to relaxing while walking along the shore collecting treasures. Well, the shows in 11 days and I have much to do!