Sunday, March 24, 2013


The words of encouragement and advice that I received last week was uplifting and in some cases, downright funny. My mom says (with a heavy Filipino accent) 'if you stop wearing the dead colors, you might look alive! You have a long time to lay down in the ground. Why start now?!'. A friend suggested that a good, stiff drink would fix me right up. Good dark chocolate is supposed to work. Along with aromatherapy, massage and chicken soup. Azalea couldn't understand the concept of 'feeling blue' and wondered aloud why I just didn't try to feel pink or purple instead.

I realized she was right. Why indeed? So, I put on a pink shirt and red shoes. I made a drink with a shot of whipped cream vodka, Godiva liqueur, salted caramel syrup and soda water. I ate a good part of a bag of Bliss chocolates. Made a batch of blood orange fruit de pâté and chicken soup. I turned in a groupon spa package and allowed myself to get pampered.

Then, I busted out the tools and got to work. I ignored the draggy feeling, the dreaded sluggishness and plowed on. I made a little face to go with a wool felt creature I needle felted. I made some tiny waxes for the upcoming miniature show. I felt better. Not great, but progress nonetheless.

The life of a self employed artist sounds easy - no meetings, no set hours, no boss and one chooses what to do with the day. It IS nice, but there is a lot of work involved, a lot anxiety and sometimes frustration. Sometimes all those little things add up and it's hard to feel in control. It's good to step back, look at the situation and come at it from a different angle. Like a piece of stone that has a vein of really hard rock running through and all the sharpest tools just can't get through that area. Rather than continue hammering on the spot, flip it and go at it from the side, or back.

I'm treating this part of my life like a ruby or sapphire, hard and beautiful, but easy to carve with patience and a focused vision.


mjsee said...

It's the cloud cover. I've lived in NC for 30+ years--NEVER do I remember a winter as cloudy as this one. Makes me think I'm back in NE Ohio. And reminds me why I left! Hang in there...Spring will get here...eventually!

Jean Katherine Baldridge said...

I love this entry; to me it seems as if you have become a more amazing writer as well as a more determined and beautiful artist with every word.
I have spent all winter NOT STOPPING. I have no advice for you, as I am doing it for a different reason, but that little carved face is a thing so perfectly beautilful to me, done by your incredible hands, I want to cry with joy that I know you.
love jean xox

Cynthia Thornton said...

Hey Melanie,

I agree. I seem to get S.A.D. when its gray outside. Must be my island heritage! I should get one of those special sun lamps.

Cynthia Thornton said...

Hi Jean,

You are so nice! I'm glad you like the little face. Wait till you see it on the felt creature! It's going to be cool. I haven't made anything just for fun in ages.

TesoriTrovati said...

I have been feeling in the same place, Miss Cynthia. Flat, lifeless, pulled in too many directions to count. But shifting focus, changing perspectives is what is working for me, and I see it is for you too. I would join you in the whipped cream vodka (never heard of such a scrumptious thing!) and that bag of chocolates. Find your 'something good' ever day and you will be amazed at how it can energize you. Reading what you right is a 'something good' to me. Enjoy the day. Erin

Cynthia Thornton said...

Hi Erin,
Yeah. Someone said mercury was in retrograde and that explained it all. I'll have to look up what that means exactly! I found the whipped cream vodka at the liquor store. I don't go very often, but when I do, I'm always amazed at the selection of beverages! We should have a drink if you go the bead and button this year.

debra freeland said...

Don't be depressed. You are so lucky to have the nerve to follow what you love and to do it. 30 years ago I was in the home design field and I got my feelings hurt so often from mean clients that I quit. Then I was a mortgage loan processor for 5 years YUK! Then I did hair for 20 years and surrounded myself with only positive people. I make jewelry now just for fun and I love your things!
Debra Freeland

Anonymous said...

This is my first visit to your blog--I've been playing with a bunch of your charms that I bought at the Twin Cities Bead Bazaar, and I have to tell you, you are so talented, and your work has such meaning. I know this winter has been hard--it is blizzarding here in Minnesota on April 19!--and we have all just about had it, but hang in there. You have such a gift, and we are so blessed that you share it! Ignore the naysayers. You are doing good work, you are doing beautiful work, you are making a difference.