The words of encouragement and advice that I received last week was uplifting and in some cases, downright funny. My mom says (with a heavy Filipino accent) 'if you stop wearing the dead colors, you might look alive! You have a long time to lay down in the ground. Why start now?!'. A friend suggested that a good, stiff drink would fix me right up. Good dark chocolate is supposed to work. Along with aromatherapy, massage and chicken soup. Azalea couldn't understand the concept of 'feeling blue' and wondered aloud why I just didn't try to feel pink or purple instead.
I realized she was right. Why indeed? So, I put on a pink shirt and red shoes. I made a drink with a shot of whipped cream vodka, Godiva liqueur, salted caramel syrup and soda water. I ate a good part of a bag of Bliss chocolates. Made a batch of blood orange fruit de pâté and chicken soup. I turned in a groupon spa package and allowed myself to get pampered.
Then, I busted out the tools and got to work. I ignored the draggy feeling, the dreaded sluggishness and plowed on. I made a little face to go with a wool felt creature I needle felted. I made some tiny waxes for the upcoming miniature show. I felt better. Not great, but progress nonetheless.
The life of a self employed artist sounds easy - no meetings, no set hours, no boss and one chooses what to do with the day. It IS nice, but there is a lot of work involved, a lot anxiety and sometimes frustration. Sometimes all those little things add up and it's hard to feel in control. It's good to step back, look at the situation and come at it from a different angle. Like a piece of stone that has a vein of really hard rock running through and all the sharpest tools just can't get through that area. Rather than continue hammering on the spot, flip it and go at it from the side, or back.
I'm treating this part of my life like a ruby or sapphire, hard and beautiful, but easy to carve with patience and a focused vision.