The day was spent relaxing, tending my plants, perusing the stalls at the Downtown Market and encountering smiling strangers wishing me a happy mothers day. All the attention brought me to a somewhat pensive mood, thinking about my own mama and grandmother and how surprising it is to realize that I AM a mother. I know I am, of course, but its so abstract an idea, to have this title shared by countless millions, to have this important job. I have a ritual of documenting some of the days events in my sketchbook, capturing little moments with ink and watercolors, so one day, when my children are grown, they can see exactly how much I loved them.
This page was drawn after the International Doll Show in Orlando. The snippet of text above the drawing of me and Max pertains to the fact that he was the only real baby among all the dolls. The kokeshi design is one I'm planning to paint for Azalea's collection.
Plans for cloth dolls with porcelain faces, painting idea, tree patterns (i love looking up into branches and sketching the lacework) and a sketch of a tiny turtle.
This was drawn on Azalea's first day of school, a day I spent holding back tears and sighing a lot. I'll never forget how she looked, so small and brialliantly clothed against the gray light (one day I'll color in the drawing, but for now it sort of matches how I felt). I sketched the flowers Greg brought home to cheer me up, losing myself in the intricasies.
When I'm pregnant, my belly gets huge. I get folks stopping me in the streets, asking if I'm having a litter, or if I'm ready to pop at that moment. So, the drawing might be an exaggeration, or true to life, it seemed that big to me. The festive critters are designs for some stuffed toys for Max and Azalea, which I will make for Christmas.
The thought of my children grown is a bittersweet one, at once intriguing (who will they be? what will they look like? ) and enormously sad, because I won't be able to hold them to me forever. I think of my mom and how she used to look at us with such an indescribable expression, one I never really understood as a child. Now, I understand completely. I'll try each day to remember the advice that she and so many others have given me, to enjoy this ephemeral sweetness while it lasts.