Tuesday, May 04, 2010

lucky gal


My boy wore himself out with the baby jumper. I can't believe how big he is. I need to figure out how to slow the passage of time.


Max loves to jump! He looks so cute, he often gets kissed and cuddled, mid leap. Greg couldn't resist and gave in to his sweetness.


Azalea practiced her first performance for days, going over her 'astronaut' lines so she wouldn't forget. I thought the whole kindergarten show was pretty cute.

Once and awhile I get frustrated with myself, like an odd stone in a paved path. I read an email recently praising up a storm about my perfect life and perfect family and how easy my life must be. I suppose it would seem that way and in truth, my life is pretty close to perfect (if only I had more land for chickens and miniature donkeys....). I am a lucky girl in so many ways, but perfect I am not. For instance, I have a bad habit of expecting everyone to be a busy body because I am. We were told from an early age that 'Idle hands are the Devil's playground', so I am always doing something, even when I watch t.v. my sketchbook is open....just in case. So its really hard for me to go to social gatherings with new people because I'm afraid they'll think I'm rude if I pop open my bag and pull out knitting. Its very frustrating for Greg, who is so patient with my wacky ways. Add to that my irrational annoyance with folks who don't get my ticks and you have the makings of a hermit. Actually, hermit may be the wrong word, what do you call a person that really likes to stay in their studio, joined only by other crafty people? Hmm. Anyway, the 'easy' part nearly made my eyes bug. I realize not everyone would know that I worked 3 jobs at one point and freelanced for years to get this perfect life I'm living. I wonder sometimes at the ease of other peoples lives, but don't envy them. I believe that all the work I've done, all the bad times, the life lessons that have proven deeply unpleasant have contributed to the mostly strange, occasionally good natured and sometimes cranky person I am today.

15 comments:

mairedodd said...

how one person can judge another's life is beyond me... do you seem to be able to make a living doing something you love with a beautiful and supportive family? yes... good for you.. as you said, you have made good choices and not-so-good choices (which gave you learning opportunities), you have worked hard and continue to do so... i believe that you are human - so are allowed your quirks... i am personally happy for you... we all have our own path to take... the only thing i would say to you? i hope for you that at some point you will realize the fallacy in the saying that doesn't allow you to quite let go... other than that - live cynthia - as your heart guides you to do so...

SummersStudio said...

Ah, the creative life/work. I often have people comment that I am lucky not to work and just do what I love doing. But it is hard to rest, isn't it? I do understand what you are saying. Quirks are OK. Quirks are good. You are allowed to choose and express all of the quirks you wish. And that baby boy and girl you have must give you so much joy. It sure does give me joy whenever I see photos of them.

Tom said...

That video is freakin' adorable.

Stephanie said...

I was taught to never judge my insides by other peoples outsides.

I think you are perfectly imperfect and I admire you and your family very much!

Gaea said...

Maybe we should all post the ugly-tough-and-chewy-side-of-life stuff on our blogs too. I'm sure if someone judged us by all the happy rosy pics on our blogs they would think they have the easiest life ever. Never mind that I spent the day feuding with children that didn't want to stop screaming at each other or me, or the dog ate an entire basket of specially made muffins for said children's classes and now I'll have some special prize to find in the morning from said dog, that every one is in a time out at this moment including me, and that the economy sucks and my shoes are too tight. Ok. I guess that would be one really sucky, bummer of a blog post. I'd rather fantasize about your perfect life.

P.S. Nothing cuter that a bunch of fidgety kindergartners trying to remember their lines!

Gaea said...

P.S. I'm also the "anti-social" one with a sketch book out at a party! You go with your quirky bad self!

SharonP said...

Max and Azalea are just stinkin' cute! And I mean that in a good way!

As for your perfect life, I don't know anyone who has one, including me. People should not judge from outward appearances but always will. Your quirks and tics and knitting at parties is who you are, and if you are not true to yourself, your art would suffer , and so would the rest of us!

Melissa J. Lee said...

I have been known to pull out knitting at social events, too. It seems like such a waste to just sit around chatting with nothing but a glass in one's hand. As far as being a hermit is concerned, I've always liked this line by Emily Dickinson: "The soul selects her own society, / Then shuts the door".

nina said...

"Actually, hermit may be the wrong word, what do you call a person that really likes to stay in their studio, joined only by other crafty people? i call you kindred spirit, my friend.
don't you just love the comments that we get on blogs sometimes - the oh so authoritative figures who think they have us all figured out? bah.
we are what we are, bumps and all. your life is yours, mine is mine.
thank goodness our lives intersect from time to time.
i'm glad to call you friend. xo

Lynette said...

Life has perfect seasons, and not so perfect seasons. It is ok to love the goodness in your life. The lucky times will sustain you always. Never compromise a dream !
However, you can compromise on how it will come true. A hand made life is hard work, thank you for sharing the sweetness. Love, and Blessings

kvk said...

I think one reason we get along so well is we both have a bit of a surly edge. I figure it keeps the riff-raff away. In unfamiliar locales I keep my "don't f*** with me" sign squarely placed on my forehead - enter at your own risk! Of course, it's all a front and I'd end up in a sniveling heap if anyone actually crossed me. Maybe we're actually a rare species of porcupine ... or not.
Anyway - cheers to you for persevering and pushing on through!
hugs - kvk

Jean said...

I am very friendly and love to get out, cause I never do. I easily could live alone as I am a Virgo (one of the two bachelor signs), and here I am sky high with kids and a wonderful husband. I cannot complain. I would walk through fire for this crazy life.
I know you would too.
It is the insensitive, intrusive people from the outside world who are not sensitive to you which seem to bother you.I understand. I get emails frequently from them , especially when I am on the brink of being burned out. They seem to ask the dopiest questions or want something I don't have to give.

Your kids rock!!!

Hi to all of you! jean xox

Kimmie said...

My goodness, how could anybody look at your output, your beautiful kids, and your business and think your life is one of ease???
Love the paintings, btw...
Now go eat another bon bon and have Greg peel you a grape!

Janet said...

I missed your post here. Azalea was so cute in her play...all of this is such a sweetness of life and you want to put it in a jar and capture it! Your so lovely just the way you are ox

Softflexgirl said...

I've been to a party (in Milwaukee I think) and you had nothing to do so you entertained a large group of us with stories. It was lovely. :)