But some things never change, like my love for beautiful things. I bought this last week at a shop near Waimea Falls, thinking how good it would look on my already cluttered desk. I'm sitting at an empty desk now, at the Interweave apartment, in Colorado, thinking how much has changed in a few short months. Certainly not my obsessive collecting, but something I can't quite describe. I've been wondering at this niggling feeling all day, what about me is different? Its many things, I suppose. Its sadness that the project is coming to an end, its joy, too, for the same reason. I think there is a part of me that can no longer ignore my dreams, that they can no longer be put off, till there is more time. I've long wanted to write and illustrate childrens books and working on this project has brought that to the surface.
I suppose I'm at a crossroads. I love and hate the feeling. I am deeply uncomfortable with change, but I also embrace the idea, even though its frightening. I'm not saying I'm going to abandon Green Girl Studios (that would be like removing an eye!) but I feel like sharing the stories I've been carrying around for so long. Is this silly? Does anyone else feel pulled toward daydreams? I've always followed my intuition, trusting the universe to guide me. So, I'm going to do it. I'm going to write my stories, draw and paint the illustrtions and pray when I send them out into the world, they are worthy of printing.