Sunday, January 11, 2009

a sad day

Look at this cute and cuddly creature! It's made by Holly Stanway, a very talented toy artist. I've asked her to make me one, we shall see what she makes this spring!

I slept most of the day and spent the rest of it distracting myself from being sad, like thinking happy thoughts (like of my dolly that's coming) and drawing in my sketchbook. I wasn't focused enough to do anything useful, because today my Grandmother died. We found out this morning and I responded by staying in bed. It just seemed easier. I went through the rest of the day, trying for normal, but always having a lump hitched in my throat, threatening to spring forth with gallons of tears. We knew it was coming, so I suppose that makes it easier, but it seems strange and unreal. Its hard to imagine her still, when she was always busy, always working on something beautiful, cooking the best pumpkin pie youv'e ever tasted or sassing a complete stranger (or me!). She was a spry country lady, full of energy and always ready for a game of cards or fishing for perch. I learned how to quilt, fry fish, make chicken and dumplins, grow roses and a whole assortment of useful things. I will miss her laugh, which was always close and her hillarious stories that never ceased to cheer me up. Today has seemed grey and colorless, which fit my mood exactly. I imagine she wouldn't have liked all that laying about and moping, preferring that I at least clean the house or make a cake in her honor (she did not approve of languishing, no matter what your excuse). So tomorrow we will feast and toast in her honor, make food she wouldv'e loved and we will tell her stories.

17 comments:

Carter said...

Hi Cynthia-
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. No matter how much preparation we have for the loss of a loved one, it's never easy. How nice to hear that you are going to celebrate her life tomorrow. Good you took some time today for you, to remember her, and cherish the gifts she gave you.
I'll keep you and your family in my warmest thoughts.

Cynthia Thornton said...

Thanks Carter, that's really sweet of you. Yeah, I needed to decompress in a major way, today. We'll have a good time, honoring her tomorrow.

nina said...

i'm glad that andrew is there so you can celebrate her life together...x

Christina said...

Sorry to hear of your loss. It sounds like you needed some time for yourself to grieve before celebrating her life. My thoughts are with you.

HINT Jewelry Design said...

What touching memories, Cynthia. Your grandmother sounds like she was a lovely soul and will be deeply missed. May you find comfort in your celebration of her life today with cake and stories :)

Lee, Lucy, Angel Bandit, Gwinn and Harley said...

I'm very sorry for your loss. It's tough, even though we know it's going to happen. May your guardian angel wrap it's wings around you & give you comfort.

Hugs,
Lucy

Gaea said...

Yah. Sad. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I'll send some sassy Grandma thoughts your way and soft Grandma hugs. Grandmas are the best.

Tom said...

I'm sorry to hear that Cynthia. My condolences to you and your family.

Both my grandparents have passed. That was a tough one.

Softflexgirl said...

I'm very sorry. I hope that you enjoy tomorrow....and I'll toast to her as well.

My best,
Sara

Cynthia Thornton said...

Thanks everyone! Your kind words really mean a lot! Today was good, we made nice food and talked about all the things we loved about her. It was something she wouldv'e enjoyed herself. And thanks again, I know it seems weird that reading comments would make me feel better, but it does and I appreaciate every one of them.

Janet said...

Im a bit late pulling up the rear here...Im so sorry too! The sorrow is so sorrowful! My close friend I found just died too and I was wondering why he didnt send anymore emails or wasnt on Messenger. I just found out he died Sept 1, 2008 Labor day! What a blow Ive cried for days. Im so sad and so I share such hurtful grief with you, my heart goes out to you *sigh*
With Love.
Janet x

Wynn Studio said...

SO very very sorry...
My thoughts are with you.
xxooxx

Wynn Studio said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Melissa J. Lee said...

I am very sorry for your loss. (And, I hope you don't mind my saying - I DO think it's wonderful that your grandmother lived to see her free-spirited great-granddaughter. There is something very special about the connection between generations.)

Thinking of you...

Jean said...

Dear Cynthia, I am so very sorry to hear this and I am certain I know how proud she was to have been the grandmother of such wonderful children and grandmother in law of Greg, and great grandmother of the Amazing Azalea. love, love love, to all of you, jean

Cynthia Thornton said...

Thanks, y'all. It is comforting to think of what a long and happy life she led. She was very proud of us! Especially Greg, who she thought fit into our family like he was one of her own. She was amazed by Azalea, who she called the 'Stout Little Thing', which was an improvement of what she called me 'The Little S**t" because of my tendency toward practical jokes!

Thanks you guys! Your words are like hugs.

Sonja said...

Cynthia, I just happened upon your blog after admiring your for work so long, and had to post. My heart goes out to you & your family. Even when it's not a surprise, the loss is no less painful. She'd be happy to know that you learned so much from her and carry on her spirit.